Saturday, December 31, 2011
New Year's Resolutions (and 364 other days of your life): Everyday Resolutions
New Year's Resolutions (and 364 other days of your life): Everyday Resolutions: We humans have developed an unusual habit. On one particular day, many of us set our intentions for the entire year. We ask ourselves, "Wh...
Everyday Resolutions
We humans have developed an unusual habit. On one particular day, many of us set our intentions for the entire year. We ask ourselves, "What do I want my life to look like for the next year?" "How can I do better?" What if we had the opportunity to show up in the way of our choosing each day of the year?
One of the central focal points of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is to do just that. Set a course for your life and move toward it daily, hourly, moment-to-moment. There is no need to wait for the unique 12/31 date to roll around.
When we consider what New Year's resolutions typically look like, they are commitments to respond to life in ways that we have chosen. Ways that we believe will add purpose or meaning or value to our days. I have yet to hear someone resolve to "be less" than they were the year before, except when being "less" in one area of their life, creates the opportunity to show up somewhere else in a more meaningful way (e.g.,"I am going to work less hours so I can be with my family more often"). We resolve to take better care of our health, to volunteer to help others more often, to be kinder, to become more educated. The richness of these value-laden intentions is profound.
However, we tend to get ourselves into trouble. We expect ourselves to behave in super human ways! Very rarely does behavior perfectly transform over night. Let's take the (common) example of deciding to workout at the gym more frequently. Have you ever been to the gym on January 2nd? IT'S CROWDED! How about on February 2nd? A bit less. March 2nd? Not so much. Many of us have this nasty little habit of expecting our committed actions to magically appear and stay present. However, what we can actually expect is an increase in discomfort the closer we get to our valued behavior. I will address this more in future blogs.
If we give ourselves a break and allow ourselves to move in the direction of our values - such as becoming more physically fit - then we can honor any steps we take as we move toward that behavior. We can celebrate immediate, short-term, and long-term goals as they are reached along the continuum of our ever-present desire to become more fit. Always returning. Always returning. Always returning our mind back to that intention, as it will inevitably wander.
Happy New Year! I wish you all a well-intentioned and purposeful 2012.
One of the central focal points of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is to do just that. Set a course for your life and move toward it daily, hourly, moment-to-moment. There is no need to wait for the unique 12/31 date to roll around.
When we consider what New Year's resolutions typically look like, they are commitments to respond to life in ways that we have chosen. Ways that we believe will add purpose or meaning or value to our days. I have yet to hear someone resolve to "be less" than they were the year before, except when being "less" in one area of their life, creates the opportunity to show up somewhere else in a more meaningful way (e.g.,"I am going to work less hours so I can be with my family more often"). We resolve to take better care of our health, to volunteer to help others more often, to be kinder, to become more educated. The richness of these value-laden intentions is profound.
However, we tend to get ourselves into trouble. We expect ourselves to behave in super human ways! Very rarely does behavior perfectly transform over night. Let's take the (common) example of deciding to workout at the gym more frequently. Have you ever been to the gym on January 2nd? IT'S CROWDED! How about on February 2nd? A bit less. March 2nd? Not so much. Many of us have this nasty little habit of expecting our committed actions to magically appear and stay present. However, what we can actually expect is an increase in discomfort the closer we get to our valued behavior. I will address this more in future blogs.
If we give ourselves a break and allow ourselves to move in the direction of our values - such as becoming more physically fit - then we can honor any steps we take as we move toward that behavior. We can celebrate immediate, short-term, and long-term goals as they are reached along the continuum of our ever-present desire to become more fit. Always returning. Always returning. Always returning our mind back to that intention, as it will inevitably wander.
Happy New Year! I wish you all a well-intentioned and purposeful 2012.
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